Car Crash in Caracas in 1913

Translated by Al Gallo
December 18, 2011

This (now) hilarious editorial was published by El Universal, Venezuelan newspaper founded in 1909.

Caracas, July 12, 1913. - We had predicted that sooner or later the inevitable would happen. Yesterday, unfortunately, the facts proved us right.

At half past eleven, when Phoebus (the sun god) was in its glory, two of those motor vehicles improperly called automobiles that roam the streets at 15 and up to twenty kilometres an hour, collided in the very centre of the city, right at the Las Gradillas’ corner.

The vehicle driven by the young Gustavo Zingg ‘crashed’ (if we may use this Gallicism), with the other one driven by the German engineer who was brought to this country by the local Blohm House.

This almost terrifying show, had never been seen in the capital and I can say, without sinning, that the whole population of Caracas marched by the Gradillas to see for themselves the state in which through fair and deserved punishment the two cars ended up. The human tide reached such a level that the government of the distinguished General Juan Vicente Gomez, Leader of the December Movement and ever vigilant of collective peace, had to mobilize the cavalry and occupy the four intersections of Plaza Bolivar.

And now we ask ourselves: Is this civilization? Can a whole city go on tolerating these flaming iron machines running along the streets like a soul taken by the Devil?. Can all of this take place because a millionaire from the Northern Great Nation whose name, according to a French press report is Henry Ford, has made up his mind to make money in this way?

We have repeatedly proposed that these machines are only allowed to move along the dirt roads and that they should be allocated departure and arrival areas on the outskirts of the city. This would avoid major catastrophes and Caracas could still maintain its beautiful appearance of a sobering city, where the horse-drawn carriages come and go seasoning the road with their drivers’ witty sayings and the physiological antics of the noble beasts.

And not only the press - the fourth power as so aptly was called by the Liberator - but also the Church, supreme guardian of morality, has made its voice heard against these machines. The young and inspired preacher Fr. Jesus Mary Pellin lashed out in the Sunday mass at 11, at those who with all propriety he called “rerum Amicis novarun” (friends of the new things), comparing these satanic contrivances with the chariot of fire in which the prophet Elijah disappeared towards Heaven.

Let others speak. Let science speak. Let Dr Razetti speak and say whether a human body can withstand the movement at 20 kilometres per hour. Let our most eminent chemist Dr Delgado Palacios, speak and explain whether the dangerous chemical ingredient called gasoline can’t ignite and cause a chain reaction that obliterates the city. Let the young doctors Pepe Izquierdo and Enrique Tejera speak. Let them all speak. Don’t let them be silent because the city and the homeland are in danger.

Our motto: Down with the Cars!, remains as the Venezuelan voice of good sense and patriotism. Posterity will thank us for having got rid of this terrible threat.

Thought:
A man is only happy when he knows how to find joy within his positive environment, not in an imaginary one.

Al Gallo is the Editor of Translation Reference. Google: Google+
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